Sleepless and Dreamless

I can't sleep. I count the hours as they go by on my alarm clock. Slowly time dwindles down until I need to sleep before I don't get an adequate amount of sleep. When I wake, it's never a full restful sleep. I feel as if I am still sleeping and in a nightmare where I have to go to work. Work. Hahahaha, if that is what you call it. When I work, it's for a man who is bi-polar, egotistical, unfair, uncaring, selfish and sometime sincere when it suit his fancy. This is no way to live. Well for me at least. I can't work with a man who is like that. I can't be belittled every day. That's no way to live. Do other people live this way and I have never known about it. That is no way for them to live like that. My heart goes out to those people whom suffer the same circumstance. On another note. I am still single. Still haven't talked to any guys on OkCupid. Still haven't drawn a damn thing. Still here, moving at the speed of Moc Zero. There has to be more to life than this. Childhood and all it's trials and rewards seems like magic compared to what I am living now. This raises the question of "Why have kids?" To have them go through the same shit that you do? ...you have to experience? This all seems unfair and utterly, hopelessly sad.